13th
Open Letter
OK, college students of the USA, listen up. Today is the thirteenth of March, and because St. Patrick’s day is on Wednesday you decided to celebrate Irish heritage today. I get it. I do. The Irish are great. They have cute accents, have some of the most beautiful land in the world, and like to drink beer. And for college students across America this means that you honor the Irish by drinking as much as you can without passing out, or do. Whatever. Which for me and the rest of the city, means that you are drunk and on the streets before noon, blessing us with your jubilance.
I am all for having a good time. I like to see people having a good time and enjoying the warmer days. Upon meeting some of you, I myself was on my way to a brewery, where I would be taking a tour and sampling some local hand-crafted brew. However, what I do not condone, is rolling down a busy street in a large group illegally consuming beer in broad, rainy gloom and imposing your fun on me.
I want to at least make my Saturday morning appearance without your antics and shenanigans. I also don’t think my friends want you to stumble over to them and ask if you like the girls that he is with. Do you, sir, like the females that we are packin?
Finally, riding the train is not fun, generally. May you please not increase my discomfort by piling on my car, standing in a group that occupies the entrance and scream across the car to each other? I too, like to converse with my friends and you are making it impossible with your drunken banter. Thank you for understanding and please don’t drive anywhere today.
